Something I Read That You Experience When You Watch TV With Other People
Isnt watching TV with people great? Its like the natural evolution of storytelling that began with the ancients. The warming glow of the TV is our fire, instead of cold, hard rocks, we have comfortable sectionals and recliners and instead of mythical creatures and monsters populating our stories, we have Steven Tyler on American Idol.
But let’s put on some serious music for a serious discussion. Not every thing about watching TV with other people is wonderful. Below, we discuss that types of people who can present problems when you watch tv with them.
1. The Commentators
You know why Mystery Science Theater was good? Because no one cared about the movie. Try that (bad word) during a show I like and I will DUH-stroy you. If I want a running commentary, I will wait until the season comes out on DVD and I’ll listen to the key grip talk about the time that they spilled chilli cheese fries on the showrunners shoes or something stupid like that. Otherwise, keep it down and MAYBE I won’t kick you out if you have the extreme misfortune of sneezing two consecutive times.
2.The Mouth Breathers / Nose Whistlers
This person either sounds like they have a collapsed lung OR it’s like a low frequency train whistle is emanating from their nostrils with every gush inward and outward of oxygen. The thing is, you can’t say anything because there’s no kind way to be like, Your breathing is making me unconscionably rageful, without sounding like a lunatic. At the same time though, if you don’t say something, you will turn yourself into a lunatic because of your inability to not fixate on all the noises. Classic lose/lose.
3. The Family Member With The Dramatic Issue
It never fails. You sit down to watch an important episode of your most treasured TV series and BOOM some family member appears like an apparition only instead of ghostly, they’re Real Housewivesly because they set about to hash out some major family issue in the same room that you are trying to watch TV in. Sure, maybe they could do this in the garage or half-bath or crawl space. But nope. They need to have this familial showdown right next to the TV and/or your eardrum because this issue needs to be discussed at max volume with tears and everything.
4. The Guess Whats Nexters
The best part of watching a good show is trying to mentally anticipate the direction a show is taking. Thats why the polar bear in LOST was so good. We all had our theories and once the polar bear came into the mix, we crumbled up our theories paperwork and tossed them into the metaphorical waste basket.
Conversely though, this can also be the worst thing because some people don’t mentally anticipate. The audibly anticipate. Loudly. While the show is going on.
Its like playing Win Lose or Draw except it’s your favorite show and you aren’t rooting for the person to get it right; you’re considering homicide because you can’t hear anything.
Oh yeah! I just about forgot. I’ve been making plans for changing my site. There’s something I enjoy about the website http://goodshepherddet.com. Not even sure specifically just what yet needed opinions 😉 Comments on that would be good. Now getting back to it!
5. The Interlopers
I don’t understand how you can drop into season 3 of LOST and just plug along you actually have some kind of context, but these people TOTALLY do and it frustrates me for them. Dropping into any show without a laugh track mid-stream is similar to watching a foreign film without subtitles. Sure you can discern things, but why do that to your self?
6. The Pay Half Attentioners
Everyone has suffered through a show with one of these people. Theyre either Facebooking, Angry Birdsing, Pinteresting or Instagraming or something where the show gets 2% of their attention while their other activity gets 98%. Yet instead of falling on their misdirected attention sword, they struggle to maintain some kind of competency with the TV show like they are doing you a favor by being wildly uninformed about the machinations of the plot so you get questions like
– Oh wow. So what’s that all about now?
I don’t know. Its the plot? Its the entire purpose of the show. What are you asking?
– Hmmm. Who is she again? Is she important?
Shes the main character. The person the entire show is premised after. So yes I would say that she is marginally important in terms of her relationship to the show.
– Hmmmm, so what just happend?
Something complicated that would involve me pausing the show and recapping the last seven episodes.
LISTEN. This isn’t a bazooka gum wrapper. If you want to understand, you’ll have to pay more than 2% attention.
I’ll mention that I originally got the thought for this article talking with Ryan at The phoenix design group. Thanks for the seed. Guess you discover inspiration in unexpected ways.
Posted in Photograph Post Date 12/19/2015